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Craniac vs. Brainiac vs. Sensei Wu vs. Kit Fisto
In the distant land of Ninjago... Sensei Garmadon: Well, my boys, Sensei Wu has gone to a distant pyramid to beat the bricks out of two maniacs and a frog. Kai: Well that ought to be exciting. Jay: I hope he trimmed his beard short before his match. Zane: Roger roger. Cole: Would you cut that out, Zane? I know you're really a robot, but you don't have to be a jerk about it. Nya: Yeah, besides, you're the Titanium Ninja of Ice. Anyone who tries to punch you will be minus a claw hand for a little while. Lloyd: What's my elemental ability? Maybe Punctuation Penguin can answer? Sensei Garmadon: And how come I haven't appeared in a set since the Master Chen era? Misako: (running in) Oh, it's dreadful! Horrible! Sensei Garmadon: Man, Misako, that crystal ball has really been getting to you. Misako: No, it's worse! The Skybound pirates will soon be assisted by the Nindroids- Jay and Kai: Gasp! Misako: -the Skulkin- Cole and Nya: Gasp! Misako: -the Stone Warriors- Lloyd: Gasp! Misako: -the Anacondrai Cultists- Zane: Roger roger. Misako: -and the ghost of Sensei Yang. Sensei Garmadon: GASP! Everyone, prepare yourselves. Fetch Skylor, get the Destiny's Bounty, do something! Misako, what about the Serpentine? Misako: I didn't see them. Sensei Garmadon: Where did you find this information? Misako: Brickset. Sensei Garmadon: You must have been having a nightmare. Or else you were looking at the 2016 set images. Misako: See for yourself! Sensei Garmadon looks at the images and faints. Jay: I think it was the Skulkin that did it. Kai: Yeah. After all, Garmadon was their master. Nya: Wasn't he also the Stone Warriors' master, too? Lloyd: Probably, but he drove the Garmatron. Zane: Roger roger. Cole flips a switch on the back of Zane, and he shuts down. Amset-Ra: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Rubik's Pyramid! That's right, Rubik's Pyramid. Today, it's Throwback Thursday! While the Pyramid Staff members are throwing all the world's agents into the mouths of dinosaurs, several Anubis Guards are going around exterminating TARDIS agents. (Don't ask me how they got back. It's Throwback Thursday; everything old is new again.) Amset-Ra: Ogel is in prison as usual, Pharaoh Hotep is plotting against me as usual, and Sir Fangar and Pythor are tripping over thin air as usual. Sir Fangar: Do you have to act like a gloooooorious klutz, Pythor. Pythor: I thhhhhhought you were the klutzzzzzzzz. Amset-Ra: Well, Jestro? Aren't you going to clown around with them? Jestro: Are you kidding? I'm not a clown, I'm a jester! Amset-Ra: Yeah, right. For a jester, you sure do have a questionable taste in literature. Anyway, take it away, Wyldstyle. Wyldstyle: In the Red Corner is last week's surprise winner, Craniac! Audience: BOOOOOO! Commandosaur claps. Craniac: Thank you! I won't fail you! Wyldstyle: In the Green Corner is a kid in a rocket ship, Brainiac! Brainiac: Your insults are naught. Begone, insolent worms! Wyldstyle: In the Yellow Corner, arriving down Santa Claus lane, is none other than Santa Claus himself! Sensei Wu: Wha- Suddenly, a whole bunch of kids shove him into a chair and start tellimg him what they want for Christmas. He Spinjitzus them off. Grundal: Here comes Sensei Wu, here comes Sensei Wu, arriving down Spinjitzu lane... The entire audience flees to get Grundalitis shots. Wyldstyle: Go figure. In the Blue Corner is the appropriately blue drowned Jedi, Kit Fisto! Kit Fisto: Drowned? Would you say that to everybody's favorite Jedi? Wyldstyle: Sorry, it's Throwback Thursday. I was a jerk back the- hey, where's my hai- oh. Amset-Ra: Get out of here, Frenzy. You can't sign yourself up to be predictor. Axel was supposed to have that role. Frenzy: He was sick with GRUNDALITIS!!!!!!!! Amset-Ra: Now GET OUT OF HERE! Frenzy: You know the alternative for me is Ogel, right? Amset-Ra: On second thought, you'd better predict first. Frenzy: RIGHT-O!!!!!!!! We've got two maniacs- Amset-Ra: Like yourself. Frenzy: -and two wise guys. Now if the second maniac beats the bricks out of the second wise guy, and then crushes the first maniac, the first wise guy will then beat the second maniac. SENSEI WU IT IS!!!!!!!!!! Amset-Ra: Good. Tee-Vee? Tee-Vee: Run battle.exe. Brainiac: Begone, midgets. Craniac: Midgets? I'm bigger than you. Brainiac: Quoting my idol General Crokenberg, "NOT... ANY... MORE!" SHRINK SHRINK SHRINK Craniac: Hey! This isn't funny! Amset-Ra: I'm the pharaoh, and I say it's funny. Laugh with me, audience! ... Several Anubis Guards come and tickle the audience with feathers. Audience: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Amset-Ra: Good. Sensei Wu: Spinjitzu! Bling! Kit Fisto: Oof! Wyldstyle: Aftee shrinking Craniac, Brainiac mind-controlled Sensei Wu so that he attacked Kit Fisto instead of Brainiac! Brainiac: Construct! CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK Wyldstyle: Big surprise there. It's his own spaceship. Craniac: Construct! Oh wait... I'm too small to do so. Brainiac: It's a big world out there, isn't it? Too bad you won't be able to see any of it. ZARK! Tee-Vee: Craniac = Eliminated. Wyldstyle: I feel bad for Craniac. It must be scary to be shot by a laser many times your size. Then again, it'll save the guys at the cemetery a cremating job. Brainiac: How about you, Jedi? Would you also like to become Laser A-La-Mode? SHRINK SHRINK SHRINK Brainiac: Here, kitty kitty kitty! Kit Fisto: Mocking a Jedi, are you, hmm? Sensei Wu: Enough with your Yoda impersonation. Kit Fisto: Time for the moment of truth. Leap! Brainiac: ... KA-BOOOOM! Crunch! Charge! Flex! Dash! Tee-Vee: Kit Fisto = Eliminated. Wyldstyle: Kit Fisto placed a thermal detonator under Brainiac's spaceship, whick caused it to explode and crush Kit Fisto! Who could have seen that coming? Brainiac: I could have. I knew that my spaceship would be destroyed, so to prepare for this match, I upgraded it with airbags. Wyldstyle: You mean you didn't have airbags this whole time?! Brainiac: Lex Luthor didn't require it of me. Now listen to me, Sensei. You will now leave the ring. Sensei Wu: I will now... I will... I... I... I have... Brainiac: Yes? Sensei Wu: I have not yet begun to fight! Brainiac: That's nice, John Paul Jones. Now tell me, how did you overcome my mind control? Sensei Wu: I have a big heart. And besides, you can't eliminate me after I've tried to attack you only once. Brainiac: Your heart may be big, Sensei Wu, but the rest of you shall be small. Sensei Wu: Not a chance, Brainiac! Spinjitzu! POW! Brainiac: ARRRRRRGGGGhhhhhh... Ding! Tee-Vee: Sensei Wu = Winner. Wyldstyle: Sensei Wu's unrivaled knowledge of Spinjitzu has saved the day! Come back next week for more torture awesome excitement! See ya! See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle. 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